Cool concrete against the back of my head. I tried to meld with the wall, it's solidity the only thing keeping me upright. Well, that and Darren's hands on my trembling hips. 

 He placed a soft kiss on my abdomen and stood slowly, casually adjusting my clothing as he went, buttoning my fly. Another kiss, long and lazy, this time I instigated it, needing to feel his lips on me again, afraid to lose his touch. He broke it, and we stood there uncertainly, my hands still resting on his hips, not wanting to let his body slip from my grasp. 

His hair was rumpled now, from where I'd fisted my hands in it in ecstasy, leaving him looking dishevelled but beguiling. Innocent and fragile. I felt he might break if I touched him too forcefully. We stood, trapped in that moment for an age. Silent. Until... 

"So..." he began, eyes flicking downward, as if he had something vital to say but couldn't phrase it. Or was afraid to. He settled for a leading, almost pleading look, that seemed to say "you know what I'm getting at, right?" 

Ideas ran rampant through my mind... //he wants to go to a hotel. To my place. To his place. He wants to leave town with me...// 

//He wants the money.// 

The revelation was almost a physical blow. //Of course he wants the money. You didn't just get the most mind-blowing head job of your life because he thought you had a pretty smile.// 

Feeling like a child chastised, I reached into my back pocket, drawing the required amount from my wallet, plus a generous bonus. //Fuck it, I can afford it. At least this way he might remember me.//  

With the bills in my hand an invisible barrier was erected between us. I felt like I'd lost the right to touch him. Like being at a psychiatrist's after the timer runs out. My time was up. He was off limits now. I didn't like it.  

I didn't own him, I'd borrowed him and now he didn't belong to me any more. I couldn't kiss him, touch him, taste him again. It hurt. 

I slipped the bills into his hand reluctantly, but just as he pulled them from my grasp, I pincered them between my fingers, refusing to let go.  

"Wait..." I murmured. 

A crease of confusion appeared between his brows. //What am I doing?// I tried to speak, finding it hard to force the words from my mouth. But I had to. 

"How much for the night?" I tried desperately to sound casual, matter-of-fact, but felt like I was failing miserably. "I mean... can we... go somewhere?" 

His mouth widened. His eyes widened. And I suddenly wanted desperately to be somewhere else, someone else.  //Shit. I am way out of line here. He's gonna tell me where to go.// But he didn't say anything, so I hurried to fill the gaping silence. 

"It's ok... you probably don't do that, huh? Sorry... just forget I asked." I let go of the money and went to back away, forgetting there was a wall behind me, so I didn't get far. This seemed to stir him. 

"No, it's not that." His smile was self-deprecating, his expression still a little incredulous. "No one's ever asked for that before." 

"You're kidding." 

"No. Usually they don't even want to look at me after they come." He attempted a smile to relieve the severity of that statement, but I could see pain in his eyes. Damn the Woodridge bastards afraid of their sexuality, taking it out on him. Hurting him. 

My fingers brushed his cheek with infinite care. So beautiful. How could anyone shun this angel? 

"They have no idea." I whispered. 

"No idea what?" 

"No idea what they're turning their back on." Feathered my fingers through his hair, he turned his cheek slightly into my hand. His face like porcelain in the moonlight, an apparition, a dream. "Please..." I whispered, "One night, I don't care what it'll cost, I'll pay it." 

He paused in thought, but only briefly. 

"A thousand." His expression was defiant, daring me to argue. I didn't hesitate. 

"Done." 

My lips were on his before he could take a breath to speak. Kissing him desperately, hungrily, thankful to have him back in my arms. 

When I couldn't stop my hands from wandering, searching out the silky flesh beneath his clothes, he pulled his mouth from mine, stilling my hands on his body. My heart skipped—was he changing his mind? He couldn't do that to me. 

No doubt noticing my bewildered expression, his lips curved into a cheeky smile. 

"Are we gonna stay here all night?"