I surveyed the scene before me, an eyebrow raised. Not the kind of crowd I was used to hanging with, but they seemed cool enough. Vee had dragged me along, telling me I had to quit being so anti-social and try to get to know my schoolmates. Funny, I'd been at Mabel Park for almost a month and so far Vee was probably the only one there who even knew my name. 

Strange lot, Vee's friends were. I knew her through music class (the only class I attended religiously) and her friends were the performing arts mob. Littered around Taylor's parents place were lace-clad goths, dread-headed grungers, and plenty of loudly-clothed jewellery-adorned drama divas. And I couldn't help noticing more than a few same-sex couples.  

The sight didn't make me uncomfortable, I just wasn't used to seeing people so casual about it. At Shailer Park SHS even the smallest hint that you were a fairy copped you a beating. It was that kind of school environment that had got me thinking about dropping out, but I'd decided to try transferring to a school with a better music program instead. So far I'd managed to attend an average of 3-4 days per week at Mabel Park, a personal best. With less than a year left, at this rate I may well graduate. 

I kicked a foot up onto the couch and lit a cigarette. I was still at the age where it felt really cool and sophisticated to breathe out a cloud of smoke. I swallowed a little more VB (Taylor's big brother was fully supportive of under-age drinking and had bought us a carton with only a $10 surcharge) and tuned back into the rabble that was acting as conversation in a nicely disgraced nook of Taylor's lounge room. 

"Truth or dare?" A painted chick with unnaturally vivid red hair and an alarming number of piercings questioned a pale skinny bloke with long black hair. //Oh god, people still play this game?// I hadn't been subjected to truth or dare since primary school. I vaguely recognised the kid from music class, Darryl? Damien? Not so great on the equipment but he had a pretty good singing voice. 
 
 

I don't know why I even went to those parties. I always thought they were going to be better than they ended up being. It inevitably degenerated into a bunch of underage drunks warping innocent primary school games. Like we were doing now. Turning truth or dare into our own version of True Sex Confessions. It was infinitely disappointing. 

I pushed aside a handful of ink-black hair that desperately needed a cut and declared,  

"Truth" defiantly to the waiting circle of arty teens, hoping I looked more confident than I felt. I wasn't risking a dare when Lila seemed to be in such a vicious mood.  

The evil grin that spread across the redhead's face changed my mind. She regarded me gleefully, shifting to "attack" stance, pausing to let the tension build. //Drama student.// I thought accusitively. 

Finally, after proddings from other impatient players Lila relented and asked her question. And if I thought waiting for the question was agony, answering it would probably kill me. 

"Would you ever *do it* with another guy?" 

I had to make a conscious effort to close my mouth. Oh god, but she was dead. I should've made sure I was sitting next to someone who didn't know the *exact* question to ask to make me squirm. //Stupid! Of course she'd bring this up!// Lila had been pushing this particular issue ever since she'd caught me checking out some guy in fourth period Music. The guy was gorgeous - tall and slender with a brilliant smile - I'd been completely sprung. I'd tried valiantly to talk it away ("I wasn't staring, I was just thinking about something.") but Lila wouldn't bite. Now she'd finally found a way to get her answer. 

I forced a breath, feeling like the toad we'd dissected last week in biology, all laid out and exposed, everyone eyeing me, waiting for a response. //Say something - anything!//  

In panic my eyes flitted around the circle, seeking out a saviour and finding only the intense stares of half-drunk scabs, watching in rapt attention like this was Jerry Springer or something. The only compassion evident came from a source that gave me no comfort. //Shit, it's that guy from music class! When did he get here?//  

I straightened a little more in my seat, leaning in with the general movement of the crowd. This *was* getting interesting. Truth or dare was sure different now than last time I'd played it. I slugged back a little more beer trying not to look quite as interested as I felt. 

//Poor kid, looks like he's dying.// I watched with pity as Darren - yeah that's it, Darren - struggled to answer. Then something amazing happened. Darren suddenly seemed to regain his composure, stringing a shield up around himself and leaning back casually murmuring, 

"Maybe." with oodles of confidence. //Ambiguous. Good call.// I internally congratulated the kid, impressed with the careful, but confident response. I fought down a niggling disapointment at Darren's careful avoidance of the question. //What do you care, Jones? It's not like you're interested.//  

"That's not an answer, Daz." Lila wasn't satisfied. She was out for blood. 

"What do you mean? It'd depend on the guy!" Darren spat out the words in a rush and was immediately rewarded with Lila's diabolical smile. 

"So you admit it then!" She announced triumphantly. 

"I don't admit anything." Darren directed his gaze upward with a haughty sniff. //Bet he's a drama student.// "Besides, that's another question, you'll just have to wait til it's your turn again."  

I couldn't help snickering at that one. Lila fairly snarled at him. //Good save!// This Darren kid was OK. A bit of a fairy, but what a pearler! 

Lila seemed to admit defeat, and the game continued. Several embarrassed faces and half a beer later, I realised it was gonna be my turn. A sense of pride (and a severe look from Vee) made me nod when the guy next to me (Brian, I found out later) looked me over with Kohl-lined eyes and asked if I was in.  

"Truth... or dare?" Brian posed the question dramatically. //Not another drama student...// 

I briefly flirted with the idea of choosing "dare", but decided that the only one who really knew how to embarrass me here (i.e. Vee) wouldn't be asking the question, so truth was probably the best option. 

"Truth." 

Brian smirked and shifted in the lap of a spikey-haired punk (a *male* spikey haired punk at that) before dropping his bomb. 

"How often do you wank off?"  

//Keep it cool, Jones. Think casual.// I took a drag from my cigarette, giving myself a moment to come up with an answer. 

"Twice a day, three times on Sundays." I answered without skipping a beat, keeping my tone light enough that no one could be certain if it was the truth. I was rewarded with hoots of laughter from the rowdy, half-pissed lot. Locking eyes with Vee across the circle, she gave me an approving smile. 

So it was my turn to "truth or dare" someone. Looking to my left I realised that, due to a couple of flakers, Lila would be my victim. //Payback time.// I thought evilly. She (stupidly) chose "truth". 

"When was the last time you got laid?" 

My eyes kind of flitted onto Darren for a sec, in time to catch his eyes virtually glittering with wicked delight at my casually posed question. //How'd you like that one, mate?// and he grinned at me, like a shared secret.  

Snorts of laughter as she stuttered her reply, looking suitably ashamed (it had been a while). Then, rushing to turn the spotlight on someone else, she turned on Darren. 

"So what guy would you sleep with?" She demanded. 

"I didn't say truth." Darren countered in lightning speed. 

"But you were going to - everyone is!" Darren just raised an eyebrow, stubbornly silent. Finally, with an overly-dramatic sigh Lila bent to tradition. "Fine! Truth or dare?" 

"Dare." Darren wasn't doing a very good job of holding back a gleeful smile. I was struggling to contain sudden and incapacitating laughter. 

"Fine!" Lila snorted, going into dramatic hyper-drive. "You asked for it!" She snatched up my (now empty) VB bottle and placed it in the centre of the circle. 

"I get it, Lila, spin the bottle." I was still choking back errant shards of laughter, and fighting images of the blonde god from my music class (After the perving incident Lila had told me his name was Daniel, though I swore I wasn't interested) wanking off. It was very fucking distracting. And that smile he'd given me earlier was no help.  

"You really shouldn't mix game genres like this, it's... tacky!" I reached over to spin the bottle, but Lila caught my arm. 

"That's not all, Daz." She grinned, and I started to get a little apprehensive. "This is a special male-only edition." 

My laugh died in my throat. Anyone watching close would have caught a glimpse of naked fear on my face before I carefully tacked on an uncaring front.  

"Whatever..." I murmured, feigning casual, and quite well too. //I guess that drama elective is working for something.// I hoped nobody noticed how my hand shook as I spun the bottle round.  

Due to the flakers, Daniel was the sole occupant of about a third of the circle, and the remaining two thirds had quite a high percentage of females. I had never been a math swot, but by my judgment, the odds were good. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I mean sure, a stupid game, a stolen kiss, but what if he freaked out? What if he told me to go fuck myself? He didn't seem like the kind of guy who'd gleefully go round kissing other boys. 

Odds aside, I had to start wondering about words like 'fate' and 'destiny' as the bottle slowed as if being directed by some lofty force, to rest pointing *directly at Daniel*. Were it a gun, it would have shot him square in the groin. //Let's not think about that, eh Daz?// 

Suddenly breathing was a chore. I looked up hesitantly to meet Daniel's gaze across the circle. "Is this OK?" I asked with my eyes. I didn't want to think about what else he would see in them. Fear? Desire? No, I wasn't ready to deal with that. 

Light glinted off the bottle as it spun, like a trick of cinematography in fucking movie. Internally I was swearing my head off at it, not sure if I was bullying it to stop pointed at me, or as far away from me as possible. When it finally stopped, my breath came screaming out in a rush (was I holding my breath? I hadn't realised). 

I dragged my eyes from the now inert brown bottle and affixed them on Darren. I gauged his reaction - so far so good, no look of distate, no flight response detected. 

Every pair of eyes was on me, waiting for a reaction, waiting for a "Fuck off!" or a tantrum complete with dramatic exit. //Well fuck that, I'll show them.// I shrouded myself in casual indifference, shrugged a little, and jerked my head at Darren, motioning for him to come closer. 

"Let's get this over with." I muttered with apathy I didn't feel. 

Darren crept closer, emerging from shadows so I could get a better look at him. He stopped just at the point where he was invading my personal space. Funny how having someone shoved right up in your face makes you see them different. I was stuck on his eyes, so blue, so clear (obviously he hadn't been participating in the little smoke-up of medicinal herbs I'd smelt happening outside earlier in the evening.) He didn't flinch or look away from me, instead holding my gaze, vibrating nervous tension. 

"Sure you're ok with this?" he whispered in a small voice, so low no one else could've heard. 

"S'fine." I murmured back. //What are you saying? This is your window out!// "Wouldn't wanna lose face in front of the Demoness." I flicked my eyes to indicate I meant Lila. I saw a smile tug at Darren's lips in response. As if on cue she piped up brashly, 

"Come on, guys! You're holding up the game!" 

Pushy bitch. I wanted to slap her. //I must remember to thank her later. And then not speak to her for about a year for putting me through this.// I decided not to draw it out, as delicious as Daniel smelt (I would have to get some of that cologne, and though I hated smokers, I had to admit it put a spicy edge on his scent) I was itching to get closer. 

Funnily enough, despite my incredible urge to just devour this boy, I was a little bit... stuck. We were kind of bobbing and weaving, each waiting for the other to do it, not game to go ourselves. Finally after the Sultan of All Uncomfortable Silences, Lila sprang into action and gave me a shove toward Daniel. Being kind of precariously balanced (I was kneeling, he was sorta sitting back on his heels) I almost keeled over, and in a rush to stay vertical I grabbed Daniel's shoulder for support. 

Having initiated contact (and set my arm on fire as a result) I looked up, flushed, out of breath, apology all over my face, stuck in an awkward moment in an awkward postition. I couldn't read his expression, but for a moment he looked like he might pull away and I realised how very very badly I didn't want him to. He didn't pull back though, just kinda hesitated looking like a scared rabbit and so I internally went //Oh fuck it!// and closed the last 20 centimetres between us and pressed my lips to his. 

I thought I could hack it. One little kiss. I mean come on I've kissed heaps of girls. Well, seven, but who's counting, eh? And when he was there in my face, all blue eyes and soft-looking lips I was ok with it. But actually doing it? That was harder. 

It was bleeding obvious early on that neither of us was prepared to make the first move. We were just swaying in the breeze and I was willing him to move and he was begging me to with his eyes, but we didn't even touch til that redhaired bitch interfered and he almost fell in my lap. 

His hand on my shoulder. Why did it scare the crap out of me? Well, cos I wasn't expecting it for one. And cos it made the whole thing real. Before that it was all theory, with that touch we were there, two guys in a room full of people, about to kiss for the first time. 

//I don't think I can do this.// Was my first thought, and I was on the verge of pulling away when suddenly his lips were on mine. 

And I kissed back. 

I can't explain it. It was like my body switched over to auto-pilot and my lips were stroking his and my tongue was sliding in his mouth to find his and by the time I registered what I was doing I was enjoying it too much to stop. And I liked it. And he tasted good. And I didn't want to stop - ever. 

It was going to be a stage kiss - you know, all show, no substance. Lips, no tongue. I mean I didn't want to scare the guy... Colour me shocked (*happily* shocked) when he kissed me back. Oh my god, he really got into it, and could that boy *kiss*? When I felt his tongue in my mouth I just about fainted with pure unadulterated lust. 

Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I let my tongue tangle with his, easing deeper into the kiss, my body drifting forward, closer to him, my hand slowly, hesitantly smoothing up his shoulder to settle gently at the nape of his neck, the shorter hairs there tickling my fingers. 

I felt his hands hesitantly settle on my waist, and that light contact sent a flush of heat up my torso and down to my groin. I wanted his touch to stop being so light. I wanted his fingers to grip my waist and haul me close so I could feel his body hard against mine. And I thought he might, he just might... until- 

"Woooohooo!" 

"Go for it!" 

"Aw, get a room!" 

-we were quite forcefully and loudly reminded that we weren't alone. 

Daniel wrenched his mouth from mine, dropping his hands to the floor, leaning his body away, and I immediately missed his touch. I felt a hot blush crawl up my neck and suffuse my face and then we were back in that awkward place. He couldn't/wouldn't meet my eyes. I had no option to slink back to my spot on the floor and wait for my face to stop burning. 

I don't know what I was thinking. I don't think I *was* thinking. He just tasted so good, felt so good, so... *male*. I wanted to feel all of him against me and just kiss him into oblivion. The slide of his fingers up to my neck set my skin alight and his lips, his tongue... sweet torment. 

I couldn't help the movement of my hands to his waist, I just wanted him closer - it was driving me mad having his body so close I could feel the heat emanate from it, but I couldn't feel *it*. 

The hoots and cheers were like a bucket of cold water that doused us both. I tore my my mouth away and let go of him as if he'd just caught fire. I was mortified. I couldn't believe what I'd just done - the first major impression I'd make on these people was going to be *this*? A public make-out session with another guy? Suddenly the floor was so absolutely fascinating it commanded my complete attention. 

//It's just a game. You were proving a point. Show them you're fine. It was a gag. It was nothing.// 

I leaned back against the couch, lighting a new cigarette - just to give my hands something to do - and puffed on it casually, pretending not to notice my shaking hands, the heat in my face, the eyes boring holes into me. 

The game continued, but I couldn't follow it anymore. I could only remain stuck on the dirty carpet, all my effort directed into *not* looking over at Darren. I only slipped up a couple of times, sneaking a little glance across the circle to where he sat, silent as me. And every time I looked, he was looking back at me. 

He was pretending not look, but I caught him - every time. He was smoking away like a chimney, and I could tell the whole kissing thing had scared the fuck out of him even more than it had me. And I'd been suitably terrified. It wasn't so much that I did it, but that I'd actually *liked* it. And I knew he'd liked it too, a *lot*. 

He was looking away again, studying the carpet, so I took the opportunity to study him, committing him to memory - that hair, those eyes... those lips. And I made it my new goal in life (next to becoming superstar) to taste those lips again.