Without You I'm Nothing

by Brittany

Author's Note: This story is my second attempt at a piece of fiction!! Savage Garden and all other characters do not belong to me. DO NOT COPY or USE without my permission!!! Anything historically, physically, mentally, etc. inaccurate…please pardon it…I'm not very good with this. But make sure you point it out to me, ok? Thanks and enjoy!!

Warnings: It's a little naughty …so I'm going to rate it NC-17 again...just in case. This piece is a lot more depressing, and has a lot of talk. If anything offends you, please do not get mad me. Read at your own risk. Includes rape/abuse/LANGUAGE

I WANT LOTS OF FEEDBACK! Send mail to: sgdream@hotmail.com

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Daniel Jones closed his eyes as the warm water of the shower soothed his skin and his soul. It had been a rough day…in fact, it had always been a rough day since HE walked into his life. He lived his life in fear of the nights…the nights where he prayed would just be gone forever. Soon tears started welling up in the blonde man's eyes, but he quickly held them back. *I don't want to seem too vulnerable* he thought…*it would be too dangerous. Daniel reached for a bar of soap, and started rubbing at his skin. The bruises were still there…and the freshly made red marks on his face would soon join the many he'd obtained over the last few months. Friends and family had started questioning him…wondering why all of a sudden he was depressed constantly. They looked at him with a troubled face as they examined his arms and face. But Daniel couldn't tell them. He loved HIM too much to send him off. He was also scared to death.
He turned the water off, and carefully stepped out…wondering if HE was here yet. Hearing only his own quiet breathing, Daniel toweled himself dry, and put on his boxers. *Why bother?* he thought, *They'll only come off in a few minutes anyway.* But having some dignity is always good. Turning off the bathroom lights, Daniel paddled out into his bedroom and sat on the bed waiting. That's how HE liked him every night. Sitting on the bed, awaiting his painful torture. After only a few minutes, Daniel heard HIS car pull up, and the door to his house being open.

THOMP THOMP THOMP came HIS loud steps as HE pounded up the staircase.
The bedroom door was thrown open and in stepped the most beautiful man he had ever met. *Kind of like a beautiful demon* Daniel thought to himself, and looked down; not wanting to meet Darren's intense gaze.

"Daniel…" Darren hissed, obviously ready for the evil he had planned every night.
He walked up to the naked man sitting on the bed and jerked him up by the shoulders. "I told you I wanted you completely naked on the bed. Why is that so hard to comprehend?" Darren yelled and pushed his mouth onto Daniel's harshly before letting go and shoving him back down. "Take those off you little shit" he spat and went to lock the bedroom door. Who was going to get in? His house was designed to be soundproof, and the neighbors were never home at night. Daniel sighed and pulled off his boxers and threw them onto a nearby chair.

"That's so much better," Darren snickered with an evil grin as he took of his jacket and grabbed Daniel again. "Well aren't you going to say hi?"

"Hey Darren…" Daniel whispered…feeling the fear that was growing as Darren got closer and closer.

"I didn't hear you…what did you say?" Darren asked while licking Daniel's face and pinching his nipples.

"Uh..I…uh…said hi Darren…" Daniel stammered back, not knowing what Darren really wanted to hear.

Without hesitation Darren swung the back of his right hand across Daniel's cheek. Seeing Daniel just standing there caused him to become even angrier.

"It's Mr. Hayes to you, you little ungrateful bastard…" Darren threw Daniel back onto the bed and got on top of him, pushing with his weight and causing Daniel to squirm underneath. "Now what the fuck did you say?"

"I I I'm sorry Mr. Hayes, please forgive me."

"So I leave you alone for one day, and you forget who I am?" Darren hollered into Daniel's face.

"I'm…I'm so sorry. I forgot."

"Yeah…you forgot alright. You forgot me coz you were busy fucking someone else."

Before Daniel could get another word out, Darren's fist came down again and landed just short of Daniel's left eye.

"That outta teach you to keep your pants on when I'm not around."

"But I wasn't with anyone…" Daniel cried defensively as he put his hand over his hurt eye.

"You're such a fucking liar.." Darren cursed and placed his mouth harshly on Daniel's again…frenching him and then biting Dan's tongue ever so slightly to cause pain, but without blood.

This same thing happened every night. His lover would come in and rape him, not knowing just how much physical and mental pain he was inflicting on Daniel. Daniel knew Darren was attracted to him. The intense looks he received were so obvious, even the fans were catching on. But what the world didn't know was that Daniel was in a violent relationship, desperately wanting help…but too scared to tell anyone.

His thoughts were quickly scattered as Darren began licking and biting his neck, making him moan in pain and pleasure. He was attracted to Darren's sexiness. It was the sex that had him locked in a wrecked emotional state. But he dreaded the sex he received every night, because there was no fun in it. He was beaten and then raped…but yet he still loved Darren. Now he ponders why he's still staying with him. There was only a one way love in this relationship. Daniel loved Darren with all his heart, but he wishes Darren felt the same. He tried to tell Darren one day how he truly felt, but Darren had seemed uninterested and left without a word. That night, Darren had landed Daniel in the hospital with a sprained wrist.

Tears started welling up in his eyes, and he reached up to wipe them away.

"What the fuck is your problem? You don't like our sex anymore? You act like I am supposed to be fucking you every night. Yet you go out every morning and get your brains fucked out by some asshole, you little whore." Darren accused, and punched Daniel again in the stomach…causing the blonde man to buckle in pain.

"Owww…" Daniel whined as he tried to push Darren off of him.

"Shut up you little baby…" Daniel hissed and starting kissing Daniel again. He licked his way around Daniel's face, sticking his tongue in and out of Daniel's earlobes.

Daniel tried to relax himself, but his heart was beating faster than a speeding bullet….He didn't want it this way. He never did. *Why am I letting Darren do this to me?* Daniel though as Darren was slowly kissing his way down Daniel's chest and nipping at the skin. *This is supposed to feel good, but why do I only feel pain?*

Darren's kisses soon turned into violent acts of lust as he dove for Daniel's cock, which soon stood up at attention without choice. He sucked and bit at it, causing Daniel to cry out. Wanting to fuck Daniel, Darren stuck himself into him without hesitation or any lubricant. It hurt as hell.
"stop..stop…stop" Daniel moaned, feeling only pain. He could feel his insides being torn out, as Darren pounded furiously into his bleeding body. Tears poured out and all his frustration was let out in sobs. "Darren….stop..it hurts…stop." Daniel screamed, but he knew Darren wasn't going to stop. He never did. A slap soon followed, meaning for him to shut up.
*I can't do this anymore* Daniel declared to himself and used all his strength to punch Darren in the stomach. He heard the dark haired man moan as his face soon turned to anger. Not knowing just what was happening, Darren grabbed Daniel's neck in his hands and started to squeeze.

"Shit, you little faggot. What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Darren said angrily as he kept squeezing consistently.

"Wha…..Dar…" Daniel gasped for breath, as he felt all the air leave his body. *Oh my God* Daniel thought; Darren's choking me to death. He felt a wave of dizziness pass over him. *I'm going to die.* He though as his last conscious thought passed through his head. Using the last bit of energy left, Daniel screamed. All of a sudden Darren snapped back to reality and realized what he was doing. He dropped his hands and stared at Daniel lying there wheezing for breath.

"Oh shit, Daniel! I'm so sorry. I didn't know…I mean…." Darren cried as he tried to help Daniel.

"Shut the fuck up" Daniel spat and lay there catching his breath back.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize what I was doing. I'm terribly sorry." Darren stammered.

Daniel just lay there staring off into space. He let his tears slowly trickle down his cheek as he thought about his situation. It was simple though. He couldn't' live like this anymore. He turned his head slowly and looked at a worried Darren.

Daniel's sad face was all Darren could bear, as he started crying himself.

"I can't stay with you anymore." Daniel replied harshly. "It's not working…it never did, and I don't ever want to see your face again."

"What? But Daniel…why? I love you!" Darren exclaimed as he felt a rush of fear enter his body. Daniel was leaving him?

Daniel was in awe and disgust. "How could you just sit there and say that to my face, without realizing just how much you've hurt me ever since I became your lover? You abused me in the way that you'll never know. Because you've got it so stuck in that thick head of yours that you're better than anyone else. I don't mean a thing to you. You just wanted to shag me, and for some reason, you found pleasure in beating the shit outta me while you're at it. I had loved you. I loved you so much it hurt to even think about leaving you. Even when you were hitting me, I kept telling myself that it was all right. That it was the love that counts. Well, what love? There was no love. You came for the fuck, and that's it! We Mr. Hayes, I'm not your sex slave, and now you've made it crystal clear to me just how you feel. You want to kill me. That gives me every reason to leave you. You're lucky I'm not pressing charges."
Darren was dumbfounded. Daniel's words went straight to his heart. It finally sunk in to him what was going on in their relationship. *I was hurting Daniel. How could I have been so stupid? Why didn't I appreciate him? What the hell got into my head?*

"Daniel. I don't know what to say. You have every right to hate me forever. I have been such an idiot to let the best thing that ever happened to me slip away. I can't believe the things I did to you, and I feel lower than shit. You are everything to me. I love you beyond words can say…and I want to apologize deeply from the bottom of my heart. I know you may never forgive me, but please, please don't leave me. You are the only reason I breathe. I want to show you just how much I love you."

"That's it?" Daniel flashed Darren a dirty look.

This caused Darren to burst into tears; he sobbed into his hands and kept muttering "I'm sorry, I hate myself"

Daniel knew he still loved Darren. Seeing the poor man cry was something he never witnessed. Darren was always this macho superstar that everyone loved. And Darren never cried in front of Daniel. Outside of the public eye, Darren had always treated Daniel as if he was a rug on the ground. He never said anything to compliment him, and when he did, he never meant it. But there was just this special something about his partner that made him love him endlessly. Seeing Darren in the day, smiling and speaking those ever-so-sweet words to him made him fall hopefully in love. Darren was like a two-sided predator. Angel by day, demon by night. But Daniel still loved him.

Darren got down on his knees and stopped his sobbing long enough to beg for return.
"I love you Daniel. I hate myself for everything I've ever done to you…and I want to make it all up to you. I promise. Please give me one more chance. Without you I'm nothing."

*He is being sincere.* Daniel though as his heart started weakening, and he reached out to touch Darren's face.

Smiling a seductive grin, Daniel replied, "you hate yourself for EVERYTHING you've ever done?"

"Yes. I will never wanted to cause you so much pain. I was so blind." Darren said with relief.

"Come here," Daniel smiled and drew Darren into a loving embrace.

The two men just sat there on the bed, weeping into each other's shoulders. Gasps of "I'm sorry" and "I love you" were exchanged.

They broke apart and kissed each other passionately…catching up on all the tender, heart-filled kissing they had missed.

They slept peacefully in each other's arms that night. Sex was out of the question, for it would have hit a little too close for comfort.

As the bright sun streamed into Daniel's bedroom window, he woke up feeling somewhat fulfilled. He turned over and the events of last night flooded into his mind. He kissed his sleeping lover on the eyes, and was rewarded with two baby blue eyes gazing up at him.

"Good morning Daz." Daniel cooed…

"Morning my sweet lover." Darren smiled.

Daniel leaned down and kissed Darren lightly on the lips before getting up. "Hurry up. We're gonna be late for practice," he exclaimed, and headed towards the bathroom.

Later that night, the two finally shared what only lovers did. It was sweet, passionate, and full of love and desire. Vows of forever love were exchanged, and they finally felt safe and happy in each other's arms.

THE END

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story was written partly for the stand against violent relationships. Violent relationships hurt the victims both emotionally and physically, and all attempts to stop them are vital. Thank you.