Finally the musical madness ended and Daniel shook himself out of the little trance the music had put him in. He grinned as he saw other people doing the same thing. Did they also have a peculiar feeling of vagueness as to what they had just watched?
Daniel noticed that Brian was motioning for him to follow them to backstage. The tall guitarist hesitantly showed the burly guard his pass, but the man just briefly scanned it before moving slightly out of the way.
Daniel managed to find the Placebo’s dressing room without too much trouble and he softly knocked on the door. After a moment, the door opened to reveal the band lounging on various sofas. Brian , who was toweling his hair, grinned when he noticed who had come in.
“Enjoy the show?” Daniel gave him a vague nod. One of Brian’s bandmates looked bored, the other was looking at Daniel oddly. Seeming to respond to an invisible signal, Placebo’s drummer and other guitarist suddenly got up and left the dressing room, leaving a startled Daniel all alone with the diminutive singer, who was somehow scaring him for all the fact that Daniel was much taller than Brian, not to mention less fragile-looking. He shouldn’t be scared at all.
But when Brian caught Daniel’s gaze, Daniel found himself remembering what had happened at the concert. How his blood had burned. How he had been frozen under Brian’s hypnotic eyes. How he had felt like he was losing his mind. Maybe he was.
Daniel quickly broke eye contact and turned away, pretending to be looking around the room.
“Nice spread you got here. Got anything to drink?” he asked as casually as he could. Brian’s soft lips quirked into a smile and he graciously offered Daniel a beer, which he downed all too fast. Soon Daniel could feel the alcohol warming him up.
I shouldn’t start drinking again, it always gets me into trouble he thought distractedly. But he was so nervous he needed a drink to calm his nerves. The way Brian kept grinning at him wasn’t helping.
Daniel realized he had backed himself against a leather couch and sat down abruptly. Brian made his way over and also sat down on the sofa, thankfully on the other end.
“You alright Dan?” Brian asked, looking at him with concern tinged with amusement.
“No, no I’m ok. I’m just feeling a little dazed from all the excitement and noise of the concert, that’s all.” Daniel said, wincing at how lame his excuse sounded.
“I don’t make you nervous, do I?” Brian persisted.
“No, of course not.”
“Then why won’t you look at me?” Brian waited for his answer but Daniel just sat staring at his hands, fighting feelings of confusion and a little despair.
What does he want to hear? That I can’t because I’m scared of what I’ll see? That every time I look into those blue eyes of his I feel like I’m falling? That when our eyes met during the concert I wanted him more than anything? Daniel felt so ashamed, he wanted to leave this room and its tormentor more than anything.
Daniel heard the leather creak as Brian moved closer to him. Even though his internal alarms were screaming at him, Daniel couldn’t seem to move a single muscle.
“Daniel, look at me.” Brian asked again and Daniel felt the feathery tickle of his breath on his cheek. Then he felt a gentle hand grasp his chin and turned his head so that he had no choice but to look at Brian.
“My sweet, golden-haired prince, it’s ok,” Brian whispered reassuringly, lightly running his fingers along Daniel’s jaw “I wouldn’t dare hurt you, even if I could.” Daniel’s skin tingled and burned wherever Brian touched it. The fire spread out, warming him to his toes, leaving him flushed. Daniel was almost painfully aware of how close Brian was, he was aware of the warmth emanating from him and the mingling scent of sweat and musk.
Hardly knowing what he was doing, Daniel leaned towards the singer and kissed those soft, pouting lips of his. Brian closed his eyes and deepened the kiss, moving his hand from Daniel’s chin to his chest. Daniel could barely think straight anymore, his whole body was focused on Brian and everything else wasn’t important any longer. Brian moved his lips to Daniel’s neck and Daniel bit back a moan, it felt so good. He distracted himself by caressing Brian’s lovely black hair, admiring how soft it was. Daniel had a thing for black hair, which was odd, considering that Michelle’s hair was blond.
Michelle. The thought brought Daniel back to earth momentarily. He had completely forgot that he had a girlfriend. But then Brian nibbled a tendon on his neck just so and Daniel felt his thoughts scattered again as lust regained it’s upper hand. He would worry about things later.
Brian’s hands wandered along Daniel’s chest, slowly pulling the zipper down on the black sweatshirt he was wearing, revealing Daniel’s bare chest underneath. Brian moved his head lower, brushing his lips along Daniel’s skin, each kiss a promise of things to come, while his hands reached the guitarist’s belt and began undoing it.
Daniel’s vision began blurring again and he closed his eyes, giving himself completely over to Brian. His last rational thought, as Brian pushed him down onto the couch, was ..So this is what it’s like to be seduced...

After the concert, everything changed. Daniel started hanging out with Brian and his bandmates, often staying out until the early hours of the morning, drinking and getting into trouble. Darren became aloof with him and things started falling apart with Michelle. Daniel knew he was headed for grief but he couldn’t seem to do anything to stem the tide of misfortune. It was almost like he was under a spell, it was so easy just to forget about anything but Brian and getting plastered. Daniel felt like his head was stuffed with cotton, it was so hard to think.
Then, one day, Daniel came home to an empty house. Everything of Michelle’s was gone. He wandered around, feeling numb, until he came across a letter from Michelle, saying she was going to stay at her mother’s. He tried to phone her and talk but her calm, unemotional voice saying that there was no hope for it just chilled him even further. His attempts to reconcile became fewer and fewer until he just gave up and stopped calling altogether. Daniel found himself pouring his heart out to a sympathetic and understanding Brian, spending almost all his free time with the singer now that he didn’t have to worry about Michelle...

...Darren looked at his watch again with irritation. It was almost 3 a.m. and Daniel still wasn’t back. They had an interview to do in the morning and Darren didn’t want Daniel to try and get out of it by claiming a hangover, like he did the last time. Darren would sober him up himself if he had to, so here he was, getting more and more angry at Daniel for his new habit of irresponsibility. Spending all his time with that tart Brian, bloody stupid git-
Daniel came stumbling through the door, almost going head-long into the carpet. Darren just watched him with an expression of disgust.
“Finally back, are we? Run out of beer?” the singer commented sarcastically. Daniel grimaced at him and fell heavily onto a nearby chair, rubbing his eyes
“Piss off. Leave me alone.” he muttered.
“No. We have an interview in 6 hours and damned if you are going to leave it all to me again! This will make it the third time, Daniel!” Darren all but snarled. Daniel regarded him blankly.
“I’m not that drunk. Just tired.” he replied shortly. Darren snorted.
“All worn out from fucking that slut of yours?” he asked scornfully “Brian must have a lot of energy.”
“Brian is NOT a slut!” Daniel exclaimed, getting to his feet. Darren gave him a contemptuous look.
“Oh really Dan, come on. I’m not blind. I can see how he simpers at you. I bet you eat it up. Must make you feel great.”
Darren watched Daniel ball his fists and wondered if he was going to actually use them on him. Darren felt a twinge of momentary fear.
“You’re just jealous,” Daniel said quietly, after a moment “I found someone who’s attracted to me, not you, and you can’t stand it.”
Now Darren felt like balling his fists and slugging Daniel.
Gods, he’s almost a different person, I barely know him anymore.
“No, Daniel I’m not jealous,” Darren replied sadly and still a little angrily “I’m just tired of putting up with your shit. You come back piss-drunk every night, you disappear for days without anybody knowing where the hell you are and when you reappear, there’s no explanation, no apology. And what about Michelle? She loved you so much and you abandoned her for that bastard! It broke her heart. You make me sick and until you stop acting like a mindless, heartless little shit, I don’t want to see your face again.”
Daniel stood staring at him for a long moment, a look of shock on his face. Then he whirled around and bolted for the door, slamming it behind him, leaving a sorrowful Darren regretting his burst of harsh words.

...Brian looked up from his magazine when a knock came at his door. He opened it to reveal a haggard Daniel leaning on the doorframe.
“Daniel!” Brian exclaimed in surprise “what are you doing here? I thought you’d gone back to the hotel.” the numb look on Daniel’s face worried Brian.
“Darren kicked me out. Can I stay here?” Daniel replied in a flat tone. Brian nodded and moved to the side so Daniel could come in.
“Take a seat,” the singer said, indicating the black couch where he had been reading “I’ll go get you something to drink.” Daniel walked woodenly over and sat down, staring at nothing. After a moment, Brian came back and handed Daniel a beer. The guitarist drank it almost mechanically, he was starting to scare Brian with his lack of emotion. He had to somehow break the stony mask Daniel had on his face.
“Want to tell me what happened? Why did Darren kick you out of the hotel?” Brian asked gently.
“He didn’t just kick me out of the hotel,” Daniel replied, his voice beginning to show some pain “he kicked me out of Savage Garden.” Brian was incredulous.
“What??” he almost shouted. “what happened tonight?”
Brokenly, Daniel began telling Brian about the terrible argument he and Darren had. Even though Daniel was obviously trying very hard to keep himself from falling apart with grief, it was equally obvious that it wasn’t working. Near the end of his story, Daniel’s eyes were shiny with unshed tears and the mask he had kept on his face was now a mask of misery.
“Brian, I don’t know what to do,” he finished, his voice betraying a deep soul-hurt and bewilderment “Savage Garden is my life, I can’t do anything else. I can’t.” The guitarist looked at Brian with such despair that Brian couldn’t help but take him in his arms. Daniel began sobbing in big, body-wracking gulps, burying his head in Brian’s chest, oblivious to the fact that Brian was so much smaller than him.
“How could he do this to me? How could he hurt me so easily, Darren, my best friend?” Daniel murmured, somewhat muffled by Brian’s black shirt “I can’t stand it. I don’t want it to hurt so much! MAKE IT GO AWAY!” he nearly wailed, sounding like a broken-hearted child.
Brian sat silent, thinking, while he stroked Daniel hair and held him. An idea came to him.
“You really want to stop hurting?” he asked quietly.
He felt Daniel nod.
“Well, me and my valuable friend can fix all the pain away.” Brian said. Daniel pulled away from his chest and looked at him in confusion. Brian smiled in reassurance, got up and walked off into another room of his apartment. He came back with a small duffel bag, which he opened and pulled out a little bag of white powder. He tossed it to Daniel, who just looked at it uncomprehendingly.
Then Brian sat back down and took something else out from the bag: it was a syringe. Brian watched Daniel’s eyes widen and he started shaking his head.
“Daniel,” Brian said patiently, gently “you said you wanted the pain to stop. This is the best way I know how. Trust me, you’ll be ok.” Daniel was still looking at him a little doubtfully. The singer had offered him a hit many times before, while they were out partying and getting hammered, but Daniel always declined, preferring to just get drunk.
Now Daniel was at war with himself, his common sense battling with his need to stop hurting.
“Come on Dan,” Brian said coaxingly “We can share it and forget everything together, you’ll love it.” Daniel sat perfectly still, desperately trying to think of another way. But he couldn’t. So, after a moment, he slowly nodded.
Brian grinned
“You wait right here while I get it all ready, won’t take but a sec.”

...Darren lay wide awake on his hotel bed, staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t fall asleep; every time he closed his eyes, that horrible argument with Daniel would replay in his mind. He couldn’t forget that awful look of panic and despair he had seen on Daniel’s face for a split-second before the guitarist had fled like a frightened animal.
He’s probably gone to Brian to go lick his wounds. That tart will probably do anything he asked. Darren tried to feel contemptuous again but all he felt was worried. He’d heard some things about Brian. No one would ever say straight-out anything, but Darren had heard enough whispers to feel uneasy.
I never should have let him leave. Darren thought for the hundredth time. Silently he cursed himself for always being so impulsive, there were a lot of ways he could have handled tonight better. But he had been tired and irritable and when Daniel didn’t even apologize for coming home so late, Darren had just snapped.
But, of course, how was he supposed to know I had been waiting for him? Darren groaned inwardly. Yes, he could have handled things a lot better. Thanks to him, Daniel was probably wandering the streets or staying with Brian, drowning his sorrows with....
With what, Darren? Booze? You should be so lucky. Darren bit his lip and got up quickly, afraid of the scenarios his over-active mind was conjuring. Afraid for Daniel.
Darren quickly got dressed and left the hotel, getting into his car with only a vague idea of where he was going.
Oh, this is all my fault! How could I be so stupid?

Daniel watched Brian with mild curiosity as the singer sat holding a spoon over a candle. When Brian noticed, he grinned wryly at Daniel.
“Yeah, I know I look a little odd but hey, it gets the job done.” he said, keeping watch on the spoon. After a little, he pulled the spoon away from the flame and looked at it with satisfaction.
“Make yourself comfortable, it’s almost showtime.” Brian said smilingly, getting the milky liquid from the spoon into the syringe. Daniel dampened down his fears and sat quietly as Brian tied a rubber hose tightly onto his upper arm. The singer squeezed his other arm in reassurance, seeing how Daniel was trying to hide his fear of the needle.
It’s sad how he feels he must always be hiding his emotions. Brian thought as he took hold of Daniel’s arm, looking for a vein.
“Are you ready?” Brian asked, lightly slapping Daniel’s arm. The guitarist nodded hurriedly, looking away. Brian gently slid the syringe into the waiting vein. Daniel winced slightly as the needle pierced his skin, otherwise his face was still somewhat blank. Brian slowly pushed the plunger, watching the needle’s contents disappear into Daniel’s arm, then took off the rubber hose.
Brian grinned as he saw Daniel’s body gradually relaxing under the drug’s influence, his face losing that sad, haunted look. The singer was much cheered by the half-smile that replaced it.
Brian turned his attention to the duffel bag for a moment and felt around inside, but was met with surprising emptiness.
“Damn! You got the last of my stash Dan,” Brian laughed. A hilarious look of concern crossed Daniel’s face.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have used it.” he said in an overtly contrite voice, the drugs making him a little simple. Brian grinned and fought the urge to giggle.
“No, it’s ok, I’m alright, watching you enjoy yourself is all the fun I need.” Besides, Brian had given himself a little treat earlier and was still a little gone.
The singer chuckled as Daniel’s look of concern melted into a glowing smile, like snow in July.
“You are so good to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” he said sincerely, trying to reach out and give the singer a kiss, but he ended up falling into Brian’s lap. Laughter bubbled out of Brian and he tousled Daniel’s spiky hair. He failed to notice that Daniel’s eyes were beginning to glaze over a little.
“Tell me you love me.” he crooned down at Daniel.
“I love you.” Daniel dutifully replied, though a little faintly. Brian kissed him lightly as a reward.
“Say it again.” he commanded.
“Love you,” Daniel said in a near whisper “love you Darren.”
Brian sat as still as stone, Daniel in his lap with his eyes rolled back into his head, unaware of what he had just said, nor it’s effect on Brian.
The singer felt like someone had just slapped him, like someone had turned his blood to ice.
No he couldn’t have meant that, it’s the drugs, it must be the drugs! he thought wildly, taking Daniel’s head out of his lap and standing up.
But when Brian found himself in front of a nearby mirror, it wasn’t his face looking back at him. It was Darren’s.
Brian shrieked and madly struck the mirror, trying to deny the lie Daniel had told the singer and himself. The air was full of the sound of shattering glass, as shards went flying all over the place, cutting Brian’s hands. Now there were little mirrors scattered all around, some showing Brian’s face, some Darren’s, with little difference between the two.
Brian screamed and staggered/ran from his own apartment, maddened by pain and drugs, leaving a deserted Daniel unconscious on the floor.

Darren bit his lip as he turned his car into the parking lot of an apartment complex he thought he recognized. Daniel had dragged him to Brian’s one time for some sort of party and now Darren wished he had paid more attention, for that was the only info he had to go on.
He parked the car and got out, trying to decide which apartment was Brian’s. But he didn’t have to dwell long on it, because he soon noticed a dark-haired person almost his height running out of one of the buildings. It was Brian, mumbling to himself with the occasional shriek escaping from him.
Darren ran to intercept him, managing to over take him and get in his way. Brian almost ran into him and Darren shoved his chest to get him to stop.
“Brian! Where’s Daniel?” he shouted. Brian focused eyes as mad as a goshawk’s on him and then he seemed to finally see Darren.
“You! Why can’t I escape you???” he screamed, taking Darren’s shoulders in a iron grip. Darren looked down and noticed, with a feeling of horror, that Brian’s hands were horribly slashed and he was bleeding all over Darren’s black shirt. He fought to be released but Brian had the strength of madness on his side.
“He tricked me and tricked himself! Tricked himself most of all! Why did I ever think I could trust him??” Brian wailed in a sickly voice, devoid of sanity “You are the cause of all my sorrows!!” he howled and suddenly lunged for Darren’s throat.
Darren desperately backed up, pushing Brian away from him in revulsion. The mad one hit the ground hard but staggered to his feet, quickly disappearing into the night. Darren was glad he was gone, his insane rambling were frightening. What had just happened?
The singer quickly entered the building Brian had run out of, asking for Brian’s apartment number. Once he got it, he raced up the stairs, unwilling to wait for the elevator.
Brian’s floor was too quiet and the silence unnerved Darren. As he walked down the dingy hallway, he could see that Brian’s door was wide open. Darren stood in the doorway for a moment, letting his eyes get adjusted to the gloom, then he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. There was a hand nearby a black couch. Daniel’s hand.
Darren rushed over to the couch, then froze, stricken by what he saw. Daniel was lying in a heap on the floor, his head lolled to one side, his eyes closed and his skin deathly pale. He was perfectly still and for a moment Darren thought he might be dead, but then noticed the faint moment of Daniel’s chest, rising and falling.
The singer fell to his knees, his eyes filling with tears of sorrow. Darren blinked rapidly, savagely rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. Then he noticed the small hole in Daniel’s arm.
“Oh Jonesy, what have I done to you?” Darren whispered in despair, collapsing on Daniel’s chest, with tears trickling down his horrified face. After a moment he felt a tentative hand stroking his hair. Startled, Darren’s head shot up to find a weakened Daniel trying to lift his head. Darren leaned closer to catch his faint whisper.
“What are you doing here?” he said with puzzled eyes, straining to get up but soon realizing he couldn’t.
“Oh Dan, I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have yelled at you! I didn’t mean what I said, I couldn’t do without you, there would be no Savage Garden without you!” Darren cried, taking hold of Daniel’s cold hand.
Daniel gazed at him with a look of joy and relief, but then Darren noticed his eyes were glazing over rapidly over.
“Daniel??” he demanded, his heart gripped with icy fear. Daniel tried to say something but his voice was too low now, barely a voice at all. Darren leaned ever closer, desperate to hear what Daniel had to say.
“my... sweet ...prince,” Darren strained to hear “..i’m so... sorry.... i’ve let.. you down.... can you...can you ...ever forgive me?” and with that, Daniel’s eyelids fluttered and closed.
“Daniel? DANIEL??” Darren shouted, frantically trying to find a pulse. Daniel didn’t seem to be breathing, he looked a white as a vampire.
Sobbing, Darren put his head against Daniel’s chest, furiously listening for a heartbeat. After what seemed to be a millennia, he heard a very faint thump. Darren closed his eyes and shut out everything else, the weak sound of Daniel’s heart his only lifeline to sanity.

That’s how the paramedics found them; Daniel sprawled on the living room floor, Darren laying still as stone on top of him, concentrating on Daniel’s heartbeat.

Thump thump.

Thump thump.

Thump thump.

Thump...