Pretty, Pretty Princess!

by Mako

Author's Note: Wow, I have not actually finished a story in so very long.  And this is short, but that is o.k.  I actually started it a very long time ago, but I forgot about it and could not finish it for some reason.  It is not very good.  But disclaimer, I must do that.  I do not own Darren Hayes or Daniel Jones, have never met them, and do not think this really happened. It is not libel, I promise.  Just a little thoughts that I had.  Sorry. Someone seeking a good work might want to turn back now…

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"Dan…?"
        I looked up from my crossword puzzle.  There was Darren, standing at the foot of my bed, his hands placed daintily behind his ears, keeping strands of hair out of his eyes.  He looked all too innocent.  The XXXL T-shirt he wore hung off his body, giving Darren the appearance of a being very thin. A pair of Star Wars boxers stuck out from underneath his shirt.  Bare legs traveled down to a large pair of Marvin the Martian slippers.  All and all, he looked like a five-year-old.
        "What Dazza?" I said, knowing that anything other than my utmost quiet and responsible voice would scare him away.  He did so like it that I was a sturdy figure in his life; it allowed him to be even more child-like and free with what he did.  Though to the public Darren Hayes seemed like a grown man, a romantic pop star, in reality he was very small.
        As he looked at me, he scuffed his foot against the carpet.  There was that hesitant shyness in his manner that told me he wanted something but was afraid to ask for it.  "I couldn't sleep."  He looked down at the floor.
"My room is creepy."
        I laughed, looking about.  "This is a hotel. All of the rooms look the same, Daz!"
        He blinked, eyes big and filled with insistence.  "But I'm not kidding.  I kept trying to go to sleep, but every time I closed my eyes, I felt like someone was watching me, or… I don't know.  I just can't sleep in there!"
        "That's silly!"
        His eyes lowered, his back slumped, and he turned around to leave.  Every pore in his body oozed with disappointment in me, and I automatically regretted it.  I flipped the covers off my legs, getting out of my own warm bed and stopping him.
        "I'm sorry," I assured, "What can I do to help you?"  My eyebrows were raised as my arm found its way across his back.  He nuzzled into me, a gesture of intimate friendship, and even flirtatious teasing.  So that was how it was, huh Darren?  Just wanted a little company?
        I did too.  We walked through the little door that connected my room to his, me cold but feeding on his warmth.  He crawled into bed, patting a place for me to sit down next to him.  Tucking him in first (much to his immediate chagrin) I sat down on the edge of the bed.
        "Tell me a story," he commanded, looking over at me through his bangs.
        I felt like somebody's father.  Sighing, I nodded, pausing a second.  The flowered cover of the bedspread caught my attention; I fingered a path along the green stems, thinking.  "Once upon a time… there was a very spoiled bratty princess named Darren."
        "HEY! I'm not spoiled!" he said, not denying anything else.
        We laughed together for a second, and I felt automatically silly.  He didn't much mind.  "Well, anyway, this very, very spoiled princess lived alone in a great big castle.  In fact, she had her own tower to live in within the castle, and it was filled to the brim with everything she wanted in life."
        Propping himself up to look at me, Darren's eyes sparkled.  "What kinds of things?"
        "Well…" I paused, trying to think of something, "Princess Darren had all the Star Wars toys she wanted, and lots of candy, and music, and closets full of beautiful dresses."  My mouth wiggled into a grin, and he hit my shoulder with the palm of his hand gently.
        Then, he seemed concerned, "But the princess didn't have anyone to play with?  No handsome prince?  Not even a butler or something?"
        I shook my head, shrugging my shoulders.  "The princess lived by herself. Sure, she had every material need met, but Princess Darren wasn't truly happy.  Then, one day, there came word that a prince from a neighboring kingdom was going to come and visit."
        Biting his lip and now sitting up to look me in the eyes, he excitedly waited for me to continue.  It was a show, of course.  Just some ploy to get me closer.  I knew it and he knew it, but it was still fun to pretend.  "And the prince was handsome, right?  And his name was Daniel, and he loved Princess Darren, and they lived—"
        I cut him off.
        "No.  The prince showed up at Princess Darren's castle.  But to Princess Darren's dismay, the prince was very ugly.  His name was Prince Daniel, and he was not a very smart lad either.  Actually, he was very stupid and could not even count without using his fingers and toes.  Prince Daniel had ugly brown hair and a disgusting complexion with scars all over it from a childhood case of smallpox."
        Rolling his eyes, Darren stuck his tongue out.  "No, that's not how it goes.  Prince Daniel was the most dashing prince in the land, and he was very smart and talented in bed.  And then Princess Darren and Prince Daniel shagged and lived happily ever after."
        Grinning, only millimeters from his face, I blinked.  "Is that so?"
        He eased himself into my lap.
        "Yes."
        "Oh.  Okay…"
        Alright, so Darren wasn't such a child after all.  I didn't mind it. I whispered, still smiling, "So Princess Darren and Prince Daniel shagged all night and lived happily ever after.  The End.  Except for that Princess Darren was actually pretending and was Prince Darren as well.  So it was sodomy, but no one else had to know.  And they still lived – and loved—happily ever after."
        "Sounds good…"
        "Mmmhmm," I agreed.
        "So do we get to try it out?" Darren was still in my lap, his arms around my neck now, his legs hooked around my back.  Gently, he brushed my cheek and then kissed it.  Lonely, indeed.
        "Where's your dress, princess?"
        Darren smacked me.  "Very funny."

And we lived happy ever after.
The End.


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